Falling Angel
by Vanillasiren
Summary: Regina's thoughts during the episode, "Lacey." Golden Queen angst (like I even need to tell you that at this point).


Falling Angel

Summary: Regina's thoughts during the episode, "Lacey." Golden Queen angst (like I even need to tell you that at this point). This may be continued with a companion piece from Rumple's point of view, if you all indicate an interest in reading that.

It's petty.

And given what he did to her, to her mother, it's not enough, not nearly enough.

It will never be enough.

But it's satisfying in the moment, and for now, it is the worse that she can do.

At the very least, it wipes that smug smirk off his face, the one he had when he revealed to her that he was Henry's grandfather.

As if her son being connected by blood to _one_ mortal enemy wasn't enough, now he has to be tied to Rumple too?

"I guess that makes us family."

_Family?_ Now _that _is a particularly disturbing thought.

Especially considering the way he used to fuck her like there was no tomorrow …

_The same way he did my mother_, _I'm sure,_ she reminds herself.

Is there any aspect of her relationship with this man that _isn't_ creepy?

No. It's not a _relationship_ …

And it never was.

But she's not going to let him know how much it gets to her. She's not going to give him that satisfaction.

Instead, she's going to poke at his insecurities until it starts to sting.

"I know you," she tells him. "You always choose darkness." _And you made me choose it too. You made me choose it, or at least _think_ that it was my choice to make, and then you made me love it. _

_Almost as much as I loved being your …_

"You don't know me nearly as well as you think you do, dearie."

_Not as well as my mother did, apparently. Because unlike me, _she_ actually had a place in your black, twisted little heart, but I was just …_

_Stop it!_

Regina forces herself to sneer at him. "If your own son couldn't bring out the good in you, who will?"

But Regina knows who will – or least, she knows who Rumple _thinks_ will.

_But let's just see, Rumple dear. Let's just _see_ how much you like your perfect angel Belle, so clean and white and bright, when I tip her off that pedestal you put her on, and she _really_ starts to fall._

And it really is quite delicious when he storms into her office, in all his impotent rage. She supposes she should be frightened, but …

_But Regina, my wicked one, you must not let your fear control you._

She quickly brushes the memory aside as she feigns ignorance about "Lacey."

"Stop playing games, she's gone and now she's someone else."

_Oh but Rumple dear, I thought you liked games. Think of all the ones you used to play with me …_

"Oh, you mean she has her memories back."

"Not her memories, her _curse_ memories."

"Yes, from the curse you gave me." _Didn't think _that_ would come back to bite you on the ass, did you, you smug bastard?_

"Well undo it, bring her back!"

"You know I can't." _And I wouldn't if I could._

"Lacey's here to stay," she tells him gleefully.

"Any curse can be broken, dearie. Now you are gonna help me …"

"Or what? You'll kill me?" _I'd just like to see you try. You're out of life-for-death candles, and I've picked up a few tricks since I was your eager little protégé. _"No you won't."

"Oh won't I?"

_I am _not_ afraid of you, you coward! _"You're on your best behavior because of your son." _And good luck with that. I tried it for a while, and suffice it to say, it didn't work out. I can only hope the same goes for you. _"You don't want him to know who you really are, now do you?" _Not the way I do. I know who you are all too well. You're a twisted little imp. _

_You're the man who hurt me the most…_

"So I suggest you get used to Lacey."

"Alright," he sits down, and Regina resists the urge to snap that she hasn't invited him to stay. "I'll find a way."

"Finding a way is not the problem, dear. We both know what it is."

"True love's kiss."

Regina ignores the knot that forms in her stomach at hearing him speak those words. As if he has any business talking about _love_ … "And I don't think our new resident feels the same way about you as you do her."

"Then I'll _make_ her!" He snaps.

_You'll … what?_

For just a moment, Regina forgets to breathe.

"_I want you to scream my name while I'm inside you, Regina."_

_She bites back a moan of eagerness at the words, whispered so silkily in her ear._

"_And what makes you think I'd do that?"_

"_Oh you will, my wicked one. I'll _make_ you!"_

_And he did. She had, she had…_

Regina wills herself not to blush, and she makes her lips form a sneer. "There's the charm that should easily woo a lovely young lady. She'll most certainly fall in love with you at first sight." She chuckles. "Oh wait, that didn't happen, did it?"

He stands up. "She will or I promise you, there will be suffering."

She flashes her teeth at him. "Finally, something we both can agree on. Good luck Gold." She busies herself with the papers on her desk. She wants to make sure he knows he's no longer worthy of her time.

But she can't help herself, she has to get in one last dig before he goes. "Oh, and uh, give my best to Lacey."

He doesn't even turn around, but he doesn't have to. She can just picture his expression …

_Oh, but it _is_ fun to twist the knife, isn't it Rumple? _

_I learned that by watching you._

Later, Regina watches _them_, through her mirrors. She watches them, like she did years ago. She can still remember when she first saw Belle by his side, in his arms, how it made her feel so …

So satisfied. That was what she felt. Because Belle was going to break his curse and make him weak. Because love is weakness, after all.

Her mother had been right all along.

When Rumple catches "Lacey" with another man's tongue down her throat, Regina laughs until it hurts. Oh, this is turning out even better than she could have planned! His pure, perfect Belle is no more than a _slut_. And how long before he calls her that himself, how long before he can't stop himself from thinking of her that way?

And then, as she knows, it's just one step from being a slut to being a whore…

Unless he just gets jealous. He always did get jealous, when they were together, and when he did, it made her feel …

Excited. Wanted.

_His._

Still, she never would have dared to do what this Lacey just did.

But once, years ago, that had been her. That had been Regina, with her back against a wall, and a strange man pressed against her.

But unlike Lacey, she hadn't been a willing participant.

_Regina feels the beat of the music thrum through her, seeming to keep time with her rapid pulse. She can't understand the words, but they are velvety, spicy, foreign, like everything about this place. _

_She's glad Rumple let her come with him._

_She watches with a little smile as he speaks to the man he came here to see. He is tall and gangly, but somehow elegant, with dark skin, a gap between his two front teeth, and strikingly purple eyes. She can hear his smooth voice waft across the darkened tavern towards her, and he tips his hat as he catches her eye, gentlemanly but somehow still sinister._

_Behind him, his shadow tips his hat too. Then his shadow stands and bows, though the man himself remains seated. _

_She can sense he's strong in magic, this … Shadow Man. Not as strong as Rumple, or herself, but strong enough._

_And hopefully for his sake, he's smart enough to be able to do business with Rumplestiltskin and still come out in one piece._

"_Now that you have a way to contact them, you should be all set," Rumple tells the man, and he nods. "With your 'friends on the other side,' I doubt anyone will be able to oppose you. Just remember, the more you call on them, the deeper you'll be in their debt."_

"_I got that. And what about my debt to you? This little taste o'vodoo gonna be enough for you?" He grins affably._

"_Well, your particular brand of magic is … intriguing, I'll grant you that. But I think I've my fill out it for now."_

"_If you say so. But if you ever wanna make another deal …"_

"_I know where to find you. Good luck with your new 'friends,' Facilier. I have a feeling you just might need it."_

"_I make my own luck, Rumplestiltskin. Y'all best remember that."_

_Rumple just giggles. "We'll see dearie."_

_They shake hands, and begin to wrap up the finer points of their agreement._

_So focused is Regina on their conversation that she doesn't notice the man beside her until he's practically breathing down her neck._

"_You look familiar," he slurs, putting a meaty hand on her shoulder. Regina wrinkles her nose in distaste and pushes his hand off of her._

"_And you look like a drunken lout," she retorts, and shrugs. "Well, at least one of us is right."_

"_No, I know you from somewhere," he says. Regina rolls her eyes and stalks away from him. Rumple's almost done, but suddenly, she feels the need to for fresh air._

_Regina breathes in deeply as the crisp night air fills her lungs. The music is fainter outside, but still pleasant, exotic, exhilarating. She looks up at the full moon and allows herself to relax, to smile –_

_Only to find herself grabbed around the waist and slammed against the wall._

"_I know you, _your majesty_," the voice hisses. He sounds more sober, suddenly. "You're Leopold's queen."_

_Regina freezes. Can it really be someone from Leopold's kingdom? They're miles and miles away, in a foreign land, she thought no one would recognize …_

"_Leopold … who?" Regina stammers. "You're mistaken, I'm not …"_

"_Oh yes you are. I've seen you with that little brat of his, smiling and waving like a damned trained monkey." He sneers. "Wonder what the old man would do if he saw his blushing bride all dolled up like a trollop and cavorting with the Dark One?"_

"_I don't know what you're talking about! Unhand me!"_

"_Mm, 'unhand me.' Is that a royal command?" For a drunken lout, his grip is surprisingly strong. "I tell you what, your majesty, if you want me to keep quiet about this, well, I expect a little something in return…"_

_Regina begins to panic as he presses himself against her. It's the same feeling she's had to choke down the mercifully few times Leopold has chosen to bed her. But this man is not nearly as gentle or hesitant as her husband. His touch is rough, so rough …_

"_Let me go!" She screams._

_Regina's never quite sure what happens next. One minute, his leering face is bearing down on her, so close she nearly gags from the stink of his alcohol breath, and the next he's being pulled off of her and thrown to the ground._

"_Regina!" Rumplestiltskin turns to her, while the man lies in a heap at their feet._

_She feels her legs turn to jelly, and he just manages to catch her before she crumples to the ground._

"_Regina, are you alright? Did he hurt you?"_

"_I … I'm alright ..."_

_He gives a sigh of relief, and then shakes her slightly. "Regina, Regina, what were you thinking?"_

"_I …"_

"_You have _magic_, for gods' sake! What am I teaching you for if you can't defend yourself?"_

"_I … I'm sorry …"_

_She curls into him, the sweet dark magic of him, and he holds her close._

"_It's alright. But Regina, my wicked one, you must not let your fear control you."_

Sometimes, Regina thinks being unable to rid herself of these memories of him is a curse all its own.

Later, when she realizes that "Lacey" is drawn to his dark side, rather than being repulsed by it, her first instinct is to rage. She wants to smash all the mirrors in her house that show her the truth of it.

But it only lasts an instant, because she realizes that Lacey embracing Rumple instead of rejecting him is a sort of triumph all its own.

Perhaps even more effective than what she'd planned.

Because Rumple may still want her, even as Lacey, and she may still want him … but it won't be the same. It won't be true love. It will be what it was with Regina, with her mother, and with who knows how many other desperate and unfortunate women over the centuries. He may try to stop himself, he may be able to hold back for a while, but the imp is still a man, with a man's desires, and it won't be long until he _takes_ Lacey, takes her into his bed … but not as a lover, like he would take Belle.

No, he'll take her just like he took Regina.

He'll take her as a whore.

And eventually, somehow, Belle's remember will be restored. As a matter of fact, Regina will do her best to make sure of it. And Belle will remember precisely how Rumple treated her as Lacey, how he _used_ her, how he _got off_ on her reveling in his darkness.

And there will be no coming back from that for them. The purity of their love will be _tainted_, forever.

This will be a million times better than making him think that Belle was dead. This will kill their love, and the best part is, it won't even be Regina who's doing it.

It will be Rumple. It will be Rumple, killing his love for Belle with his lust for her counterpart.

_You always choose darkness…_

_After Regina calms down, they both turn to the man who attacked her, still sprawled in a heap. He groans, and his eye widen in fear as he catches sight of the Dark One._

"_Please …" he gasps out._

"_Don't speak," Rumple hisses._

"_Please I …"_

"_If you can't keep yourself quiet, I suppose I'll have to do it for you." With a manic giggle, Rumple magics the man's tongue out of his mouth and into his hand. Regina watches with a morbid sort of fascination._

"_So no one can hear you scream," Rumple explains to her now voiceless assailant._

"_Are you … going to kill him?" Regina's tone is hushed, almost reverent._

"_No, dearie." He pauses, and turns to her. "You are."_

"_I … what?"_

_He cups her cheek, tenderly, so tenderly. "Think of it as another lesson, Regina. A lesson in remembering your power. In not feeling fear. In taking control."_

_This will be different, she knows. Different than ripping that girl's heart out. She didn't know her, and she didn't even look at her as she died._

_With this one, she will look at him. She will see the life leave his eyes._

_She does _so _want to be a good student, after all._

_Feeling Rumple's eyes on her the entire time, Regina leans down towards the man. She sees the panic rise in him, sees the same terror she felt moments earlier, when he grabbed her._

_But now she's not afraid anymore. Now it's his turn …_

_In the end, Regina decides to do it quickly. Not to be merciful, but because his pathetic little life is not worth prolonging for one more second._

_She plunges her hand in his chest, takes out his heart, and then crushes it into dust._

_Afterwards she stands, and turns to Rumplestiltskin, seeking his approval, his validation, as always._

"_Well?"_

"_Very good, dearie." He says softly. "Very good. You're learning."_

"_I'm glad y –"_

_But she doesn't get any further, because then he's crushing her mouth with his, gathering her up in his arms. She forgets everything but the pleasure of his touch, and when they finally come up for air…_

"_Rumple, take me home."_

_He giggles "You want to go back to your palace, my wicked one?"_

"_Damn it, you know what I mean," she moans impatiently. That place is not home, it never could be. "Take me to your bed."_

"_No. I'm going to take you _right here_."_

_Before she can even think to protest, he has her pinned against the wall, unlacing her. Regina whimpers helplessly as his hands find her breasts, cupping and pinching and fondling, and when he sucks on her hardened nipples, she forgets to care that they're out in the open like this, and all she can think about, all that she wants is –_

"_Oh gods, fuck me. Get inside me!"_

_Regina gasps as he enters her. "Oh Rumple, Rumple…" It feels so good, so good .._

"_Regina," he growls in her ear, as he takes her. He takes her hard and fast, against the wall, with the moon shining down and the sweet breeze blowing and a corpse on the ground beside them._

_It is dark. It is dirty, it is twisted. _

_And she doesn't care, because she is _wicked_. His wicked one. And he is hers, her Dark One, her Rumple, her teacher, her mentor, her lover._

_Her everything._

_And when they are done, when they are spent, she curls into him and listens to the beating of his heart, in perfect rhythm with her own._

Regina closes her eyes. She can't see them anymore, but can hear the sound now, the sound of Gold's cane making contact with the unfortunate man's flesh.

And she can hear Lacey's little gasp of exhilaration as he does it.

_Will he kill him?_ Regina wonders. _Or maybe he'll ask _her_ to do it, like he did with me …_

_No. He won't go that far with Lacey. Not yet._

_Not yet. But soon._

Perhaps he will _take _her though, up against the wall, like he did with Regina, all those years ago.

Like a whore.

That might be satisfying.

Doesn't mean she wants to watch it, though.

Regina passes her hand over the mirror, and the scene fades away.

Suddenly, she is … tired. Very tired.

Regina sits down and puts her head in her hands.

It's exhilarating … but it's also exhausting, watching Rumplestiltskin's angel fall.


End file.
